i hear the bells.

Back in September/October I went through an almost Lindsay Lohan/Nichole Richie like weight loss. But now, with all this festive food surrounding me, I'm gaining it all back. Ba-humbug.

paint the silence.

Just a thought, but what would happen if you ran into the departure section of an airport, screaming 'HOLY JIHAD! HOLY JIHAD!'?

P.S.: I raped my philosophy exam, w00t w00t.

dizzy up the girl.

Huh. My mom brought up my father today during the O.C.
I didn't really know what to do, so I just carried on like nothing had happened and changed the subject.
Aside from today, she's only ever spoken of him twice over the course of my entire life. All I know about him is that his name was Jose, he was a powerful lawyer, and that he's now dead. He must have died before I was born, or when I was only a few months old as I have no recollection of him. Not even a picture. All our old pictures got left behind in El Salvador. I feel really wierd even thinking about him. Actually, right now, I feel guilty because I never think about him. I never really have. I guess I'm different because I never went through the whole 'where's my daddy?' phase most father-less children go through. It's almost like I feel I'm insulting my mother and critizing her parenting skills for thinking about him and the life we'd have right now if he were alive, which is absurd. She's the strongest person I know, to be able to go through everything that happened to her in El Salvador; and then, decide to take your two kids to a brand new country where you didn't speak the language, know anyone, know the culture, and raise them by yourself. But still, I feel like I'm saying 'you didn't do a good enough job playing both roles, I needed an actual father'. And then I'm faced with my other feeling. The feeling of betrayel. I feel like I'm betraying the memory of my father for forcing myself to not think about him, and that I've done fine without him. Ugh, like I said before, Sigmund Freud would have been very interested in me, had we lived at the same time.

My iPod just played 'Slide' by the Goo Goo Dolls, and then 'Everything You Want' by Vertical Horizon, back-to-back. Talk about blast from the 90s.

And now I'm rambling, so I'll end this. Wish me luck in Philosophy.

still snowed in.

...and the entire island is shut down for a second day in a row.

angels/losing/sleep.

I feel like I've been neglecting this thing, which is a shame because I've kind of grown attached to it.

My exams started last week, and I pretty much raped them all. Now I just have to write my philosophy exam. It was scheduled for today; however, we had a massive storm (15cm of snow last night and crazy-ass winds) so University got cancelled, and it got rescheduled for Friday. We're expecting another 10cm or so of snow tonight, plus another storm over the weekend. Hello winter, it's been a while.

Went to go visit Katie last night. She's doing good...or, as good as anyone in her condition can. She starts chemo this week. Hopefully, these 4 months are going to put an end to it.

And I guess I have nothing else to talk about...

something pretty.

Here I am, where I’ve been
I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
And my clothes are worn & gritty.
And I know ugliness, now show me something pretty.

I was a dumb punk kid with nothing to lose
And too much weight for walking shoes.
I could have died from being boring.
As for loneliness,
She greets me every morning.

At the most I’m a glare,
I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

At the most I’m a glare,
I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

cancer.

oh my shit.
oh my fucking shit.
OH MY FUCKING SHIT!

...i don't even know what to type right now.

oh, inverted world.

Sigh. I miss my iPod *emo tear*
I broke it, but because I'm clever I called up Apple and told them what was wrong, but carefully omitted that I caused the damage. So now I have to wait to get my new one. Sigh. Listening to music on a computer is so old school.

black hole.

For those of you who are unaware, I work at a children's afterschool program, and as we all know, kids says the darndest things, hence the following. I was walking around, making sure no one was killing each other, when I stumbled across Skyler, a 9 year old girl. She was pretending to be talking on the telephone, and I overheard her say: "I'm only wearing a thong." Uh huh...

P.S.: Anyone find it ironic that I'm helping a friend of a friend of mine, go out with some chick, when I can't even find anyone to date myself?

east timor.

Yes! Finished of my classes until January :D
All but one of them was a total waste of my time, but oh well.
I wanted to go out and celebrate, but my boss wanted us to go to her house for supper after work. So when I got home, it was too late to do anything, but too early to go to sleep; so instead I played Super Mario Bros 3 on the original Nintendo for an obscene amount of time. Oh yeah, I'm xhardcorex.

dear god.

What language do you speak? if you speak at all,
Are you some kind of freak, who lives to raise the ones who fall?
And would you tell me why, the cat fights the dog?
Do you go to the Mosque, or the Synagogue?

And if our fates have all been wrapped around your finger
And if you wrote the script, then why the trouble-makers?

How do you do?
How does it feel to be so high?
And are you happy? Do you ever cry?
You've made mistakes, well that's ok cause we all have
And if I forgive yours, will you forgive mine?

Hey do you feel our pain, and walk in our shoes?
Have you ever felt starved, or is your belly always full?
How many people die, and hurt in your name?
And does that make you proud or, does it bring you shame?

And if our fates have all been wrapped around your finger
And if you wrote the script, then why the trouble-makers?

How do you do?
How does it feel to be so high?
And are you happy? Do you ever cry?
You've made mistakes, well that's ok cause we all have
And if I forgive yours, will you forgive mine?