Saturday, August 30, 2008

colors.

I've come to the conclusion that I put too much of myself into the things I do. I put my complete all into work, school, friendships/relationships, and my goals. So what is left of me once one of these things finishes? If I put every ounce of myself into something that ends, what then does that leave me with? Anyone? Hello? Because I sure as hell don't have a clue.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

pocketful of sunshine.

August is ending. That moved by rather quickly, indeed.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

life in technicolor.

So, last night I got off work, walked across the street to the CTrain station, and waited for my train to show up. It came, I got on it, and then I was attacked, beaten, mugged and repeatedly pepper sprayed. Technically, at first they attempted to rob me, and I was not having any of that, so I fought them off me, and got off the train (them/they being the group of 4-5 [memory a little hazy] brothers/sisters who were between 14 and 22 and had nothing better to do with their dead-end lives). I was then beaten and repeatedly pepper sprayed after I went back once I realized that my iPod was no longer in my pocket (that's what they wanted - clearly the baboons didn't realize I had an iPhone in my other pocket, hahaha, suckers). Let it be known that I have never fought a day in my life, but when the gang of them were attacking me I fought back and was winning. Never in my life have I ever felt such anger course through me to the point where I was kicking them in the groin, elbowing them directly in the eyes, and punching them in the face. I was not in the mood to be victimized last night and they picked the wrong person to assault. In the end, they won because they pepper sprayed me at close range right in the face, arms, neck and back. The train was still parked at the platform the entire time, yet no one did anything. I had to ask for help getting off the train since I was temporarily blinded. From there I bolted it back to work, to safety and to help. The cops came immediately, so did EMS, and so did my family.

I'm okay. A little bruised and swollen, but perfectly fine. My lip is cut and slightly swollen, so is my right eye, and I have nicks and cuts all over my face. My scalp is covered in bruises, but you can't see them due to my hair (but boy can I feel them). The burning sensation on my skin is now almost completely gone 24 hours later, and I only have a slight stinging left on my forearms and palms. My eyes are still red, but I can see perfectly. I have no idea what happened to my iPod, but after talking to Citizen's Bank VISA today, I was informed that the purchase is covered under their insurance, so my account will be credited the amount and I can buy a new one.

All-in-all, I have no ill feelings toward these people, if anything, I feel nothing but the deepest sorrow because their lives are either already at dead-ends, or fast approaching them. They probably made off with my iPod in order to buy crack or other illicit substances. These people have no futures and no role models. Society has failed them. Luckily for me, this happened while I was still close to my work so I was able to get the help I needed. I don't know why, but after they came back to spray me for the third and final time, all I could think was "God, please forgive them because they have no idea what they're doing." My sister said that I was probably a better person than her because she had nothing but ill feelings towards them.

Ultimately, I'm doing fine. I lost nothing that can't be replaced (and for free, as it turns out), and now I know that I can actually hold my own in a fight against 4 other people. Goodnight, and good luck.

if i never see your face again.

Well... that was something that has never happened to me before.

Monday, August 18, 2008

strength in numbers.

I should also make mention of the fact that the song title from my last post is a track by Three 6 Mafia that I've become obsessed with. I can't help it, I ain't nuttin' but a straight up G.

lolli lolli (pop that body).

I'm such a loser. I don't know what's worse, that this is the truth, or that I'm admitting to it all over the internet - but, I 100% love "The Hills." It's a little sad how stoked I was for the new season today, hahahaha. Ah well. My own life is so dull and boring that I don't mind living a drama-filled existence for 30 minutes when it has nothing to do with me.

...

It upsets me that my own life is in shambles and you're doing just fine. But you made the decision and I'm going to accept it. Goodbye.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

logic will break your heart.

I know you don't read this blog, or even know of it's existence. And I know that you'll never read this, but I thought I'd say it anyway.

I miss you. I really miss you. It's been so long since I last saw you, and yet everything about you has stayed in my mind, from your voice, to your mannerisms, to all the memories we created. I think about you often - probably more than I should. But I prefer it that way. I miss you.

Monday, August 11, 2008

mercury.

Oh Bloc Party.... Wh-wh-what? What happened?
I'm... stunned. Shocked, really. In a great state of despair.

"Mercury" is the best thing you have to offer as a teaser for your upcoming release? It's abysmal. Absolute trash, really.

MER CU RY MER CU MER CU RY
MER CU RY MER CU MER CU RY

Shu-uut-up
Shu-uut-up (is more like it.)

I'm really not digging it, not at all. I'm now only half stoked for their show in September.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

cemeteries of london.

So I know that this song is probably one of the most hated songs ever, but I have to admit that I 100% love "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

Friday, August 08, 2008

spiralling.

Yay..... Olympics!!!!