Sunday, October 31, 2010

wanna be startin' somethin'

Boo.

Happy Halloween everyone. I dressed up as Darth Vader tonight. Ironically, of course, since I've never seen a single Star Wars movie.

Here's a picture.

Friday, October 29, 2010

lasso.

Today is a big day for me.

I'm taking the case off my iPhone. It's going naked. Uh oh.

Friday, October 22, 2010

metal girls.

"I'm not a PC and I'm not a Mac. I'm an actual human being. Please, leave a message after the tone!"

I feel like changing my voicemail to that. I can't help but find it clever.

Monday, October 18, 2010

save me.

I've always had a thing for Superman. Even the origin of his name, with its Nietzsche roots. Something about a hero who can save us all has always appealed to me. It might be my Christian upbringing that has subconsciously played a part in this, mind you. Superman has always appeared like a Christ figure. Or, it may be that at heart, I'm still a little kid who needs to be rescued - or at least feels like it. At the very least, it'd be cool to know him (assuming he were to actually exist). I can't imagine the lonely road that he would have to walk down. In essence, he's the best representation of the Byronic hero we have. He never asked to be Earth's savour.

Over the past 10 years that Smallville has been on the air I've been an avid fan. I think a part of me prefers the "Clark Kent" story over Superman. To me, Clark Kent represents the Superman we can all be. The upstanding citizen that just wants to do good. Watching Smallville over the years I get stoked whenever they make Superman references, or bring in characters from his mythology. With the 10th and final season upon us, the Superman representations are their highest. Every time something happens and we get a glimmer of what's to come I swell with hope on the inside.

I think there's a little bit of Superman inside all of us. We all have darkness inside us that we must overcome if we are to realize our true destiny and purpose. We can all be a symbol of hope for someone. We don't need to wear a cape and tights in order to save the day.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

dancing on my own.

So, it's officially my birthday. Oh God. I'm old. My life is over.

Or maybe it's not.

For whatever masochistic and / or sadistic reason, I decided to start reading some of my old blog entries this evening. The icing on the cake are my old LiveJournal entries from high school. Now, avoiding that awful time in all of our lives, my main focus is on the blog entries I did up back in 2006. It's been 4 years since then and I find myself in quite the predicament. Reading about my life back then feels odd. I was in a very different place from where I am now. I was flat ass broke. I think I had $0.13 in the bank. I was doing piss poor in school and thought I was on the verge of either dropping out, or getting kicked out. I was partying 3+ times a week. I was never alone -- always out, always with people. I was stuck on an Island with only my daydreams to serve as a plane ticket out of there.

And now? Well. I graduated from school and have my degree. I enjoyed every last minute of my academic career - even if I didn't think I did at the time. I have a job that I love and that I'm good at. I got lots of money in the bank - enough to buy myself a new 2010 car, and to pay my $30+ thousand dollar student loans within 4 years. I've gotten to go from the top of the Rocky Mountains to the Island of Manhattan. I hardly go out. I never party anymore.

So, I guess you could say in those 4 years I've done a lot of growing up. I've become... "responsible." I've traded one lifestyle for another. Maybe I am getting old. But, I don't think my life is over. I never would have thought I would end up where I am 4 years ago. I wasn't satisfied 4 years ago, but for some reason, I'm still not satisfied. I wish I could take the best elements from each of these snapshots and combine the two. Who knows. In another 4 years maybe I'll finally get to that point.

Monday, October 11, 2010

set free.

Birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be; that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.

Friday, October 08, 2010

second go.

"You can't feel worthless if you think you're worth it"

I'm not one to like stupid ass inspirational quotes like the one above. I tend to enjoy the whittier quotes by people like Oscar Wilde. I find inspirational quotes to be somewhat uninspired and clichéd. But the one above, I like.

I guess to even things out I'll throw out this quote by the Biebs:

"I also try to read all of my fan mail. A lot of them send me candy, which I'm not allowed to eat 'cause my mom says it might be poisonous."

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

check it out.

I won't deny that, culturally, I'm white.

It presents a problem because ethnically, I'm not. I'm hispanic. My family moved to Canada when I was 2, barely 3 years old. We moved to the most WASP-ish province in the country - Prince Edward Island. For the longest time I think we were the "multicultural" group on the Island, haha. I laugh because it's more than likely true. Being hispanic, and visually different from the collective masses on P.E.I. I knew that I didn't "belong." Now, that's not to say I didn't feel like I belonged. I did. I did a bang up job of integrating myself. But, there's this saying on P.E.I. that dictates that only people born on the Island are "true" Islanders. Now, for someone whose first memories are of the rolling red hills, Anne of Green Gables and Cavendish beaches, it meant that, for all my trying, I was not a real Islander. I didn't belong. At this point in my life I've managed to say "fuck that" and when people ask me where I'm from, I say P.E.I. If growing up there, if having my first memories, and some of my best memories there, means I'm not a "true" Islander, then fuck that. I claim it and those who feel otherwise need to remove their minds from their cages. But I digress.

I grew up in a place that knew I was "different;" however, if I were to ever return to El Salvador I know the people there would tell me I'm not really one of them. I may, ethnically, be one of them, but I'm not a "true" Salvadorian. Aha! If I'm not a true Salvadorian, and I'm not a true Islander then what am I? Where do I belong?

Well. I don't have an answer for that. But I do know that culturally I'm as white as can be. Which is why today I indulged in my white-ness by drinking my favourite Starbucks beverage (Pumpkin Spice Lattés - another reason I love autumn), while browsing the books at Chapters. I found the newest one by David Sedaris and I just had to buy it. I couldn't say no. My whiteness was urging me. So I did. And it's great.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

brighter at night.

Man, the iTunes free singles of the week have been knockouts for the past few weeks.