First of all, I want to make it clear that I'm not in an emo mood.
I'm not sad or depressed or anything.
Rather, I'm exhausted. Mentally and physically - although I think the fact that it's after 2 may have an effect on the physical.
I've been here in Calgary for closing in on 4 months now, and I think not having any friends is finally getting to me. I used to be emo and depressed over it, but I'm not anymore. Now it's just getting to me. 4 months without any friends. Slowly going crazy am I. I'm longing for some kind of human interaction that isn't there anymore. I'm longing for long nights and listless days spent with people; however, I've slowly come to the realization that it's not to be. For the time being at least. Gah, this is killing me from the inside out. What's the point of being in the middle of an "exciting new era in your life" when you have no one to share it with and make memories with? They say that college years are the best years in your life, and for me they have been, but these past 3 and a half months have been long and hard without people to share in the thrill with me. Everything I do and everything I listen to; everything I watch and everything I think reminds me of other times, and those are the only things I have to cling to anymore. Memories of past times and illusions of times that have never been are all I have to keep me company.
I repeat, I'm not in one of my (frequent) emo or depressed moods, but I am starting to get fed up with this situation. I know in the long run having moved away will have been a good decision, but for now all I can think about is how different these past 3 and a half months could have been if I remained in the company of those I miss. Actually, it's not that I even miss my own friends, but I just miss friends in general. Ugh. I know I'm going to meet people in the future, but for the here and now, I have no one.
Completely. Fed. Up.
