World economic models explained by cows:
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbors.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
THAILAND CORPORATION: You have a female cow. The government announced to give you two sperms of the best Australian cow for free. But you and your widow cow have never got them, or, in the end, she give you a foal.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 1000 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. And then invade Poland.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
